These last few weeks the word failure popped into my mind on more than one occasion. I have to admit that I thought doing this stay-at-home mom thing would be easy. The challenges come at me daily, dare I even say they come by the minute. But I don't sweat the small stuff. Yes, I occasionally lose my temper which I never did as a working mom. Mostly because of the guilt I felt leaving my son so often. My toddler doesn't always eat the right things. We have had chocolate or something sweet as more than a dessert ( bribery baby!). But the most frustrating thing I have encountered thus far is no fault of my children...it's us as parents.
We love our kids so much that sometimes it's hard to say no but in talking with my husband we realized in many ways we were just being selfish. My daughter Katie somehow regressed and at 5 months decided she no longer wanted to sleep in her crib. Now I use sleep loosely because her sleeping stints were no longer than two hours but it got so bad that I couldn't even put her down without her screaming. Fast forward to age 7 months and Katie was comfortably snoozing and napping in her swing and then moving to our bed to sleep the remainder of her night away in the coziness of her parents bed. As much as I loved having my precious little girl beside be when I was sleeping I realized this just wasn't a great situation for any of us, especially in a Queen bed ( I'm 5'8 and my hubby is 6'1).
Yesterday evening we decided to let her cry a bit in her crib ( which we had tried briefly twice before). Miraculously after only 20 minutes of fussing, some of which was awful and made me sick to my stomach, my little angle fell asleep in her crib.
At least for the moment I can call this one a success.
Now I just need to re-evaluate our potty training plan for my toddler and get rid of his binky. The next few weeks should be challenging but I no longer feel like a FAILURE as a parent, we just have a longer learning curve :)
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