The perfect neighbor?

I beg the question...Is there such a thing as the perfect neighbor? Chris and I have been ready to move out of our beloved home since, well practically since we moved in, because we have such horrible neighbors. Shortly after buying our house we had several run in's with our neighbors. Their house is less than 15 feet from ours so there is no ignoring them. The house was hopping each night with kids that run rampant with no parental supervision. Drugs, cigarettes and alcohol were being consumed on a daily basis. Admittidly, their behavior was worse in the warmer months but we were over it.

So that is the obvious bad neighbor. To our other side we have the elderly, always in your face, always giving advice, always calling the house to tell us to put our garbage out, neighbor. I'm not sure which is worse. The nosey neighbor or the druggie neighbors.

Why the hell can't we just have normal neighbors. The next neighborhood we move to I will be conducting interviews and doing background checks on our neighbors!

In honor of The Redneck Comedian, Jeff Foxworthy, here is my contribution the the comic world ( although these are true and not so funny when they happen to you!!) :

You know you need new neighbors when:

• You step out your back door and you gets wafts of marijuanna from over 30 feet away
• The cops have your neighbor on your lawn hancuffed
• You get home from a long days work only to have the phone immediately ring with your neighbor on the line telling you "don't you read your calendar, garbage doesn't go tomorrow"
• You find yourself so frustrated that you return from a night out with your father and proceed to scream in the backyard how much you hate your neighbor
• You receive an annonnomous letter in the mail with a news article about your neighbor being arrested for having an illegal firearm.
• Everytime you step out your front door your neighbor "convienently" also comes out to fluff her flag and then you get dragged into a gossip conversation with her.
• 3 out of 4 people that walk by your house are talking to themselves.
• You have a baby and your neighbor stops talking to you ( and gives the cold shoulder) because we didn't call them immediatly to tell them.